Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers out there, especially all of those entrusted with the special charge of caring for an autistic child. I am very thankful for my loving wife, partner in advocacy and dedicated mom to our three boys on the autism spectrum. Without her love and leadership in the household, especially in my absence our boy’s lives would not be the same. I wanted to share the following with you on the reasons I value the mother of my boys.
God bless all of you Mommies out there!
On this Mother’s Day I find myself seven times zone away from my beautiful wife who is back in Florida providing caring, loving and motherly care for our three boys. I wanted to share on this special day for Moms why my boy’s Mom is the best in the world. As I am blessed by God as a husband to have a dedicated, respectful, caring and loving and faith-driven wife, my boys are just as fortunate to have a mother who everyday goes above and beyond the normal call of duty as a mother. The role she provides for and the person she is in that role for our family is priceless and irreplaceable. We all need her and appreciate it more than we will ever be able to share with her on this side of eternity. With that being said I wanted to list the top 10 reasons why my boys have the best Mom in the world:
10) She fights for what she believes in without apology.
My boys will always have a mom that is firm, but fair in all things in life. She isn’t a push over and a friend to my boys. She is a mother, a leader, and a disciplinarian. And what she says…goes. And do not mess with her boys. My wife is a nurturer and protector as well. She fights the righteous fight for my boy’s sake whenever necessary and she always wins. Always. Over the years I have seen her hone a skill set of calibrated and well-calculated tactical moves to employ on any person, agency or other that attempts to deny my boys anything they need for their development. She also has the never give up attitude that is oft talked about, but rarely displayed. My wife will fight until victory or all out defeat if necessary. She also has no qualms about letting me know when I get off track as well. Two strong personalities in a household can lead to some very heated discussions and outright arguments – especially when both care so deeply about the family mission. I am still learning and growing to appreciate though when I need to correct my thinking or actions and she firmly, yet lovingly helps me do that as well. As the saying goes, when two leaders agree on everything, one of them is unnecessary. I appreciate greatly her willingness to openly speak her mind.
9) She is the smartest woman I have ever met.
Intelligence goes well beyond formal education, book smarts or the professional how-to. The intelligence I speak about is the one more akin to wisdom and includes the emotional intelligence one gets from the development of that sixth sense that we all posses in different levels. Wisdom normally take decades of successful experience coupled with determined self-development to that end. My wife has more wisdom than any other woman I have ever met. My wife has certainly been well educated professionally. On more than one occasion she has demonstrated her ability to reason and think critically though some of the biggest challenges as a family we have ever gone through in the advocacy for our boys. Daily she demonstrates a high level of emotional intelligence as well. This required in some degree by all mothers, but especially a mother like my boys’ that has to handle the typical parenting opportunities provided when you have boys with special needs. She has to handle these added challenges in the home while at the same time work toward her board certification in Behavior Analysis, advocate for our boys as well as other families who are in the fight for their kids and do all of this in my absence. Her wisdom allows her to see the big picture and the long-term journey of the temporary here in the now our family has to often endure.
8) She is the most patient woman in the world.
She married me! That should some it up for anyone reading this and knows our family well. Beyond putting up with the roller-coaster, unpredictable and adventurous life I tend to lend to her and the patience that alone requires, how she parents our boys is a case study in the making on exceptional parenthood. I feel myself fortunate to have 10% of the patience level she demonstrates daily. But I know that she understands full that she has to though. Large callings in life by God are cause for great patience. All mothers are required to demonstrate patience, but it is the execution of that patience that may miss the mark in some homes. Not ours. My wife has a special ability to take the parenting tasks that drive me absolutely nuts, and not only handle them, but do so with such unbelievable care. It is something I pray for that someday I will have even 25% of the strength that she exhibits in this area for our family.
7) She is the most creative mother in the world.
Her creativity never ends! Our boys require constant attention and activity with their special needs and my wife is always there to meet the challenge. I have tried often (in my competitive nature) to duplicate some of the creative, art activities that she does with the boys. I think my oldest humors me by saying that he likes what I made for him as to not hurt my feelings, but he’s knows that Mom is the queen of “Craft Day” in our household! Nothing that Dad ever made was attached to the fridge, the walls or his bedroom dresser for weeks on end like the projects that Mom does with him. From parties, to surprises to family activities, my wife never disappoints. The creative energy she expends to nurture that same creativity in our boys is priceless. She has such an eye for seeing things as they could be and not as they are. Having a forward-thinking woman in the household is indispensable.
6) She is the strongest woman I know.
My wife was well accomplished in life professionally, personally and financially before I stumbled along into it. As a strong, independent, competitive and driven achiever there were so many things she could have achieved on her own, all by herself. I was attracted right away to that on our first date. She embodies self-discipline as part of her nature. She has taken those God-given gifts and expertly employed them into her family as well as her continuing professional ambitions. The burden she is able to bear, especially in times such as these when I am away to help my life mate, cannot be explained in words. And she does so with no complaint. My boys will always be able to count on their mother to assist in anything they need in life as she always makes room for more. Just when you think that she can’t possibly take anything else on, there she goes again providing advocacy advice to another parent, staying up way after the boys go to bed to study in order to help not only them but others affected by autism, putting up shelving in the new house because I’m not there and planning for the next ‘Craft Day’. Often we joke how boring it would be to have what many consider a ‘normal’ family. Blah. We ask what it would be like to have mainstream children in regular classes with regular needs. Blah. Boring. Too easy. It’s through the fire of adversity that one’s character is forged. The strength my wife provides our family and how she stands in the gap in my absence is nothing short of amazing and I am a thankful man.
5) She is a woman of faith.
She is a prayerful wife and loves the Lord. She knows where her gifts, blessings and challenges in life come from, and knows that there is a perfect plan behind all that happens and an eternal view of all things that occur in life. She is a mom that prays for her children, her husband and the world at large. Our boys have the added blessing of having a home life to grow up in that is influenced by Christian parents. I pray that the influence of her faith and mine will have an impact on theirs so they have the proper understanding of how to live in this live and to whom to look up toward for guidance, help and praise.
4) She constantly displays respect for her family.
Family is first in her mind. Everything she does first goes through the scrutiny of asking herself how this will affect the family. A wise friend once asked me at a great time of indecision in my life if I truly understood that I was no longer living my life for myself – that I was living it purely for the benefit of my wife and children? From that moment I have always tried to live by that in all the actions I take in life. I know that my wife instinctively does that for our family. She is wife that trusts. She displays trust and respect for me so I can improve and grow in my role as a husband and father. She displays this to our boys who will always have a respectful role model.
3) She is the most beautiful woman in the world.
I am fortunate to have the physical beauty that goes along with the rest of the package as well. A quote that I read just this morning said that Mom is the word for God on the lips of small children. I will surely have to instruct my boys when they each go through the funny phase where they believe they are going to marry their mom someday, that she’s taken already and they need to find their own! I count myself among the favored when he created my wife just for me.
2) She has a servant’s hearts heart.
Caring for a family with the unique needs that our family has requires a servant’s heart. If not, that person would never attend to every need with the love that my wife exhibits to our boys when she does just that. She serves our boy’s needs, she serves my needs and she serves the Lord and serve’s her fellow woman in need. It is easy to tell what a person values in their life by the amount of time they spend doing it. If you didn’t value it, you wouldn’t spend time doing it. Some choose to immerse themselves in their job, others in sports, others in church, etc. I never have to doubt where my wife’s priorities are in her life with the service she provides all of us. No appreciation of her efforts could ever be enough by any of us for this role that she fills in the home.
1) She is one of a kind and completely irreplaceable.
God certainly destroyed the mold when he created my wife. There is no one else on the planet just like her. There is no one else that could even come close to taking the place of their mom or my wife.
We love you honey. Happy Mother’s Day!